Creating + Cultivating Healthy Boundaries

We’re getting into the Autumn flow and preparing for the upcoming holidays with friends + family. I wanted to take a moment to share with you something that’s important to remember during the busy and often chaotic, holiday season. Let’s talk about boundaries.

Dr. Barbara De Angelis, a relationship consultant and spiritual teacher (among many other things) said it beautifully.

“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”

Setting physical AND emotional boundaries is so crucial to a well-balanced soul. There are many times we forget to say no to others and to ourselves because we think we have to join in or help out. There are many times we say “yes” because we fear the consequence of turning things down or what we may be missing out on. But I’ve learned that often saying “no” is important in order to say yes to yourself. Once you’ve learned when to jump in and when to step back you’ve allowed yourself to manifest in a more whole and healthy way and you’re allowing others to react to this new balanced YOU.

Creating healthy boundaries creates healthy relationships, with your loved ones and acquaintances. In my work and with my husband + children I’ve learned when to take a step back, reflect on my needs, and in turn, when to give fully and be in the present with each relationship I cultivate.

Here are some tips I’ve taken to help create + cultivate healthy boundaries: 

• Self-reflect on inner energy levels ~ Take the time to check-in on your engine light. Ask yourself questions. Am I burnt out? When did I last eat? Is there a place on my body that’s in pain?   

• Practice grounding ~ Do what makes you feel secure and controlled. For me, I turn to yoga, meditation, and some self-care.

• Make a list of what brings you pure joy ~ Who fills your energy levels? Leo and Kai are constant sources of light in my light. 

• Make a list of areas in your life you’d like to strengthen ~ Think about your relationships with people or jobs you’ve taken on. Are you doing too much? Too little? Where do you want change?

• Coming to terms with the people + things that drain you and cut them out ~ Probably the hardest thing to do, but the most important. Once you realize what aspects of your life are doing more harm than good; it’s time to take it out. 

• Know your support system ~ Crucial for embracing your true self. Know who or what you can turn to for an extra lift.

Once you’ve learned when to say no, you will begin to lead a complete, balanced life. You will feel confident, strong, inspired, secure and energized - everything you need in order to elevate yourself and connect more fully to others.